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THE BLOG

HOW TO TALK ABOUT SEX?

The media often conveys the idea that sex should be spontaneous, but that's far from the truth.




We talk freely about everyday things—what to cook for dinner, how to renovate our house, when to go on vacation, or where to buy birthday gifts. But when the topic is sex, we often go silent.


Why? Because talking about sex feels awkward. It’s personal. It's embarrassing. It's the language of desire: "I want you like this; I want you to do this to me."

In our society, there’s a lack of education about discussing sex openly and honestly. No one teaches us how to talk about it, leaving many of us feeling like isolated islands, unable to communicate our desires and needs to our partners effectively.


We often rely on the idea that our partners should intuitively understand what we want, assuming they can read our minds. But let’s be real—that rarely works.


For some, talking about sex might feel impossible or overwhelming. Yet developing an erotic language and creating a space where these conversations feel natural can make all the difference. It can help us break free from patterns that no longer serve us.


WHY to talk about sex?

We talk when we don’t want to be left alone in our head. 

We talk when something feels off, when there’s a lack, when we’re hurting, or when we’re not satisfied. 

We talk when we feel great and want more or just to let our partner know how amazing he is in bed.

We talk because words release tension and open doors to deeper connection and vulnerability. 

We talk to feel closer, not just physically but emotionally too. 

Sometimes, talking is what turns us on—the playful teasing and flirting that makes you laugh, blush, and feel that spark. Other times, we just need feedback—a sense of what’s happening on the other side—so we’re not left guessing.

Great sex often starts in our mind—with imagination, fantasy, and emotions leading the way. Realizing that pleasure goes beyond the genitals takes the pressure off performance. This narrow view of getting hard, wet, or chasing an orgasm, can lead to boredom, especially in long-term relationships. Great sex happens when we let go of the checklist and embrace pleasure with freedom and ease. 

It’s not about doing more, it’s about feeling more.


HOW do we start?

We start slow. Talking about sex can take many forms. Whether the words are direct, deep, funny, hard or erotic, as long as they come from a place of love, they’ll draw you closer together. Sometimes, the conversation alone is more liberating than the act itself.


The Sandwich method

Start with Compliment…then say whatever you want to say…and finish with more compliments

The sandwich method makes difficult conversations feel easier. Start with a compliment to make your partner feel appreciated and valued, it softens the tone and keeps them engaged rather than defensive. Then, share what’s on your mind. Be honest but gentle. Speak from the heart about what you need or what’s been bothering you. I know, Women like drama but try to keep it clear and to the point.. It’s about connection, not conflict. Finally, wrap it up with another layer of compliment to leave everyone feeling good. As Milan Kundera put it, “How helpless is man in the face of flattery.” 


Talk about yourself, 

try using "I" instead of "you". 

When sharing your feelings, it can help to speak from your own perspective without blaming anyone or demanding anything. Opening up about your emotions or fears invites understanding and creates space for deeper connection. Expressing your needs in a way that focuses on discussing rather than demanding. The goal is connection, not criticism.

conversations.


Don’t forget to laugh:) 

Sex doesn’t have to be so serious all the time. Adding humor, curiosity, and novelty into your conversations can do magic. Whether it’s sharing a laugh about a funny memory or making jokes about your imperfection or exploring something new, Humor turns vulnerability into strength. It reignites the spark and keeps the connection alive.


Talk About Fantasies  

Fantasies are like our best companions, but many of us get a bit awkward when it comes to our own or our partner's fantasies and talking about them.

Fantasies aren’t a threat to your relationship—they’re a gateway to imagination and connection. What you ask for in your fantasy often doesn’t align with what you seek in real life. So feel free to embrace your fantasies—they’re just fantasies, not a reflection of who you are.


Share your fantasies in small steps. You might start with a dream you had or a playful thought that crossed your mind. Avoid putting your partner on the spot; instead, invite them to share when they feel ready. This openness can lead to deeper intimacy and excitement.


Value Psychological Arousal  

The mind is your most powerful sexual organ. Focus on emotions, vibes, and the atmosphere surrounding intimacy. While physical acts matter, the real magic happens when you and your partner connect mentally and emotionally. 


When talking about sex becomes just a natural part of your conversations, it opens the door to understanding and growth. Like anything else, it gets easier with practice—think of it like a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it. Honest chats can solve many things much earlier and clear up concerns before they turn into a problem.


Breaking the silence around sex isn’t just good for your love life—it strengthens your connection in every way. So why not take the first step? Start the conversation. You might find it’s way more freeing and exciting than you expected.




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